From a very young age becoming a mother is the one thing I knew I always wanted to be. I was always marveled at a new life. Fragile yet in so many ways so powerful.
The day I got married, I was excited for the journey ahead. Filled with children. I found out I was pregnant 14 October 2009.
I would take the time to read and do research on the latest tips and tricks about being a mom in the 20th century. Endlessly researching everything I might need for this new adventure. I didn’t want to make one mistake. EVER!
Funny how, when you are in a situation, like for instance being pregnant, your eye will be drawn to every book and bits of information on how to do this and how to do that with your baby. Baby books are everywhere. One would most definitely not walk this journey, like many others before you, without solid advice from every Guru on how to present an organic fed, bamboo nappy wearing kid to the world.
But.. There is always a but! I have not found one book on “Life after birth” or “How many times you will mess things up!”
No one warned you that your toilet break will be the new gathering spot for family meetings. I mean what’s up with that!
No one warned you that most days, well okay, everyday, you feel you just ran the marathon in waking up at 5 to make breakfast. Pack lunches. Do the school run while wondering “did she pack her maths homework?” Get to work on time. Praying your baby is okay at school. Grocery shopping. Cooking dinner. Wondering what Mauritius is like this time of the year? Tidy the house. Wish they will pack away some of their toys. Help with homework. I don’t like her teacher anymore!! Bath time. Read a story. Cuddles … Dozing off with her in my arms. Remembering dinner dishes and maybe… after a quick shower I can sit down with a cuppa and Breath….
No one warned you that one day you wish they didn’t know your name as Mom!
When I sit for the first time in a day. Everything is okay on the home front. I can get into my nothing box in my mind and just daydream for a couple of minutes. Enjoy my coffee while it is still warm – I know this is a rare occasion. And then you hear it…
Mom!
(My mind must be playing tricks on me)
Mommy!
(I play deaf I have a couple sips of my coffee left.. I need this)
Ma!
(Why Lord? Why?)
MAAAAAAA!!!
Sigh, I take a second to say farewell to my half empty mug of warm coffee. It was good while it lasted old friend. Perhaps we can meet again…
I know I have days that I mess up so badly with her. I loose my temper. I raise my voice. I forget the promise I made to take her to the beach or I am just so tired, I cant think straight.
I find myself thinking I’m going to end up with one of those kids who will hate their mom and only remember the bad things she ever did. She will remember me being frustrated. Asking over and over again tidy up. Take your plate to the kitchen. Do your homework. Please stop that. No, you can’t have that right now. I can’t buy you that toy today. I don’t care what your friends wear, you are not wearing that… LOL, I laugh at this but this is all I think I do lately.
Then I see another mom, giving her kid the eye in the shops. You know? The one that says “Wait until we get home!” and it hit me. We are all the same really.
We all have the same fears and parenting struggles. Some more than others, I won’t deny it. We all want the same thing for our children. We want our little sprouts to grow up as sound minded mature adults that will one day look back and say my mom did a good job. It was hard, but I won’t trade her for anyone.
We want them to be successful and fun to be with. Good at everything they do. God fearing and just generally half decent human beings who will remember to split the whites from colors when they do their own laundry one day or at least know how to cook an egg!
All these qualities are good to have, however, are we not to hard on ourselves as moms?
Should we not begin to find our peace in knowing that it’s not us, but God working through us?
Why can’t we let go of the control button of I need to do this right, into shifting our minds to a new paradigm of I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me?
Dearest Mom, Mommy, MAAA! Let us release ourselves of these heavy burdens of having to do everything in our own strength and lean into The ONE that can give us the peace and knowledge of how to raise our babies. If we can give it over to Him and raise our Children in His ways they will always find their path of life rooted in Him and we all know that God makes everything work out for their good.
So let us choose today to lean into Him, meditate on His word and find our peace knowing that we are here for such a time as this. We are raising future dragon slayers.
Loved it ❣
❤❤❤
So true. I can so relate because I was that mom, exactly like you but now my only child has grown up and has a family of his own, I can now see God working it all out and through me. I couldn’t see it back then, 20 years ago. I do, however, sometimes, on the occasion, miss the “MAAAAA”. It’s a circle of life in a mother’s world, a chapter for you to write in years to come. Well written my friend ❤️
You’re the 👌 best ever