Growth

Growth is the topic for this week for me.  I have been thinking a lot about how much I have grown in this past 14 months or so.

I used to be part of the not so popular kids in school. Never fitted in. Never stood out in a mighty way. Believed a bucket full of lies about myself and fed into the fact that I am of not much worth. Nothing about me ever mattered.

Carrying this bag full of rocky nuggets into my adulthood my load became heavier and it was easier to cringe into a dark corner living under the shadow of those I looked up to.  It was easy to allow others to manipulate me and tell me what to do, say or act and how to live my life.  It pushed me to the point that I wanted to break free but the chains kept me down, buried away in the corner and feeling like a lost cause. I could not see or find a helping hand out of the dark pit of depression and lack of self esteem and emptiness. I became well trained into being the master of cover ups. No one ever noticed or saw the empty vessel I was.

About 6 or 7 years ago, my sister sent me a link of a long haired pastor preaching infinite wisdom from a church across the African borders.  Stretching my mind and beliefs into something that I always knew deep down was the truth but stayed away because of what others might consider as right or wrong.  That day I never knew that, that 1^st message I listened to, lead to the beginning of a mentorship which started in early 2021.

Fast forward to 14 months later this has impacted my life with such a major force that I cannot describe in words the growth that I have experienced since then. I am beyond blessed that I took the leap and followed with my heart.

I have finally been able to climb into a group of people from across the globe, that opened my eyes to the truth of who I am and who God is. Yes I’m using the word “climb” as that is how they grabbed hold of my heart.

They did not just accept me into this circle of love and acceptance, but they allowed me to grow and expand in unison with them. I finally experienced my true self that was forever choosing to hide away.  My funnier side has exploded and my joy is to give joy. It is just overflowing. I cannot contain it. Oh what a journey it has been thus far.

I have exploded in confidence and one of the roots are my new found creativeness and expression when started my blog and now being expanded into writing poems. I love this process of finding out who I am besides being a mom, artist and one absolutely gorgeous human being. Can I get a round of applause please!

Thank you. Thank you very much! #ElvisPresleyVoice

I can only give God all the glory for putting me on this path to show me who I am. And oh what bigger discovery of who HE truly is. My Father, My Way maker, My Elohim, the Lover of my soul.

For the first time in my life I get to truly experience the vastness of who God is and how much thought He has put into me. Every thought that has gone into aligning my steps with His plans. I can just say WOW, Works of Wonder!

The poem I am sharing is part of my heart as I find no other way to express the road I am on. I know there is more to come and I cannot wait.

 

 

Growth

I see the path I ignored once before.

It cried out and begged for more.

Moulding and shaping

Breaking and creating

Adding to the old.

Seeing the beauty that I hold.

Pain and emptiness

Emotional side affects

Cried out for resurrection

Of a soul wrecked.

Finding in the blackness unfolded

Greatness and boldness

A way to create

The place I was never supposed to deviate

Rising up in emptiness

Yet full of fullness

Filled with greater power

A detangled ego